It all started last September, when I finally attempted to start an Etsy Shop. This was not just on a whim, I really thought things through, really considered what my business would stand for as well as what it would provide.
Then I traveled over 600 miles to help settle my grandparents estate after their passing. And Then I got sidelined by just how busy my "part-time" job had kept me from October on. And THEN I made the difficult decision to change directions in the spring.
Even though I had started my blog in December, I still held out hope that I was going to be able to roll into launching my Etsy business soon. But with everything I had going on with my work hours, and the state of my house, I knew that it wasn't going to be possible.
I say that it was difficult to change directions, because for me it was. I have been wanting to open an Etsy business for years, I have considered a slew of different products that I could make well enough to market them. And this time, beyond just fantasizing, I had spent time creating my own personal brand, considering products I would make with natural elements, and designing a logo for my new store.
I began to promote first on Instagram, and gained small following. I also established an account on Etsy, to make sure that my business name would be available. Stepping away from everything without even launching, made me feel like a flake. I worried it would appear like I didn't care and I wasn't serious. But my schedule had gotten so busy (even since we got married the previous summer) that I had gotten sick at every break we took.
When we went away for our 1st Anniversary in July, we stayed at a B&B. My husband, who never gets sick, ended our three-day weekend with a sore throat and congestion. He was better in a matter of days, but I followed him in getting sick and raised the bar to a full-body flu. I did not fully recover from that for a couple weeks.
About the time that I had looked to start my Etsy account, things had started to slow down... Or they felt like they might. And then I went out of town for 10 days to help with the estate, and when I got back my work hours took off. (I was working 50+ hours the week of Thanksgiving, as part-time help!)
When we finally had a break on Christmas Day, I got sick again. I knew heading into the new year that I was not going to have downtime to make any crafts, let alone market them for a business. I decided to focus on my blog.
Unfortunately I didn't have as much time for that as I had hoped either. I started posts and left them in draft. I started other posts, covering other topics I wanted to touch on, and left those in draft too. Eventually, I defaulted to posting a few things on Instagram every so often, so that I would not disappear completely in the constant wave of new updates. And I hoped I wouldn't lose my followers all together.
Now in mid-July, almost a full year later... I'm starting over. I have a new, informed approach. And a new job.
I have been wanting this blog to be a resource for people who are in my position, to help them become minimalist. But let's be fair, I am not minimalist myself.
I have a goal of becoming minimalist. I am mentally minimalist. In my head, I can picture a calm open space in my home, and a schedule that feels uncluttered, where I have time to do most of the things I enjoy. I can imagine not wasting my time shopping for things I don't need, or ordering take-out for dinner because I'm too tired to cook.
But I'm not there yet... And it's foolish for me to write a blog as though I already am. I'm not sure what made me approach it that way. I guess because I started with the idea that someone else who felt like me could come here, read it, and know that they are not alone.
I want to write a blog on the subject of going minimalist, from the perspective of someone who has a lot to tackle. Not just some extra stuff, or out-grown baby clothes around the house that can be donated. I, personally, have a lifetime of boxes, a mountain of paperwork, fluff dander from a long-haired cat that gets all over our rugs if we don't vacuum regularly enough, and spaces in my house that I am not fully utilizing because of all of the objects I have to sort through.
But I am also NOT a hoarder...
And I will tell you why.
And I will tell you why.
This is not a skill I was taught. Periodically sorting through my personal items and donating or getting rid of things was never a regular thing in my life. My parents, in all of their wisdom, did not have the skills to teach me something that they did not know how to do for themselves.
Ever since I was a small child, I have been surrounded with messes of my own creation. My room never had a clear floor, and the space under my bed was always full of random toys, clothing, paper and whatever else. Whenever we would "clean" my room, my mom would collect everything that was on my floor and place it in a bag or box for storage, then she would tell me that "once my room was kept clean, they would bring that box or bag of my stuff back". I don't recall a single box or bag ever coming back to my room.
Our family also went through a bankruptcy when I was very young, like Elementary School age. I don't personally remember it very well, I didn't really understand what was going on and my parents did a good job of sheltering us from most of the anxiety and work they endured when going through that process. But I do know that I was always attached to "things". I always wanted to keep things "just in case". I was always afraid that if I got rid of something I would find out that I needed it, and I wouldn't have the means or capacity to replace it. I suppose that's how it feels to be a child, you don't have much control over your environment.
My family even claims that when I was a kid I told one of my relatives, "I like trash". I'm sure I was referring to the fact that I liked to collect things that other people would toss aside, with a vivid imagination of what I would use it for or turn it into, but that's the only statement that they all remember.
So here I am, in my early thirties, married with no children, owning two cats, in a small two-bedroom apartment that is technically considered a condo as it is one-story with separate entrance access. And everything from childhood through High School, through college and beyond, has followed me into my new home.
At one point we had filled a 20x20 storage unit. Lined with shelves and furniture, with boxes and bins of objects to sort, prior to us moving into our own place. But we decided to move those items into our apartment, since we had an extra room, instead of spending nearly $200 a month to keep it somewhere else where it wasn't being sorted.
At one point we had filled a 20x20 storage unit. Lined with shelves and furniture, with boxes and bins of objects to sort, prior to us moving into our own place. But we decided to move those items into our apartment, since we had an extra room, instead of spending nearly $200 a month to keep it somewhere else where it wasn't being sorted.
Since then, I have also recieved wedding gifts, inherited heirlooms from my grandparents house, and purchased furniture and other household items. We donated extra furniture that did not work for our space, and we have a few pieces stored with family that we don't yet have room for.
Even though we have donated car loads of clothing and objects, thrown away countless full garbage bags of junk, and reorganized our clutter time and time again, our house is still a mess. I don't consider myself a hoarder, because I don't want it. I would love open space over the piles of paperwork I have to sort, but it's a process. And there are important items hidden in that mess that I would like to find before tossing out the rest.
I am still a consumer, and I do use retail therapy from time to time to make myself feel better, and that does not help the issue. But I have a solution for that too.
So stay tuned, because I am ready to share the nitty and gritty. All of the fun and sour moments, the strides forward and any missteps along the way. I'm turning this blog into a documentary of my journey, not an instructional guide to where I haven't been.
And one day, when someone is in same position that we're in now, they will see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel... once I've made it though.
And one day, when someone is in same position that we're in now, they will see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel... once I've made it though.
My father was a hoarder. It was hell to clean out the house and that's what got my husband on board with the simplifying I was trying to do here in Colorado. Once you clean out one person's crap, it's hard to keep your own. If I could get his parents to stop sending me stuff, that'd be great...
ReplyDeleteHey! Thanks for checking out my blog! 😊
DeleteYes, that's hard. In the last few years I have helped my parents sort through two Estates, one that was my great aunt's and one that was my grandparent's.
My great-aunt was widowed in her mid-forties, she never remarried or had kids, and her home was full of extra furniture and mementos. She passed away in her 90s.
My grandparents retired to the Upper Peninsula, moving up to their farmhouse in their early 60's, they also lived into their 90's which month is the home collected items for 30 years.
I would not consider them "Hoarders", but they did come from the Depression era. My aunt, who lived alone for many years, did begin stockpiling some food basics that she forgot about. We had extra ketchup we had to throw out, stuff like that.
But I think going through anybody's estate will really put things into perspective. That's what really started this for me, knowing that I'm the only child that lives in the country near my parents, I will be in charge of handling most of their estate once they pass. It's not something I'm looking forward to, and I certainly don't want to leave that legacy to my children.
I grew up incredibly poor at 7 mile and Gratiot in Detroit. My father worked as a machinist but had a drinking problem, so that didn't really help the finances, my mother would work as a nurse during the night but when someone at her job pissed her off (she had the classic Irish temper) she would quit. We never HAD nice things, because everyone in Detroit knew, if you had something nice, someone else was going to take it. We also just simply couldn't afford much more than food and rent. As I got older and started working and living on my own, and moving here to there and from there to there, and accumulating stuff, occasionally I look at everything I had and realize "what in the hell do I do with this" I practice a form of hearthcraft, which basically means my house is my sacred space, and keeping my house clean and free of clutter keeps me calm, it's as if the energy of the house is directly tied to my energy and vice versa, so I would go through my pile of belongings and if it was paper that I had absolutely no use for, I would toss it, if I thought I MIGHT need it someday, I would scan it and save it on my computer, and toss the physical copy, and if I knew I needed the paper I would file it away. When it came to clothes, if I hadn't worn it in over 8 months and I couldn't think of any reason to wear it, I donated it. Any spices, condiments, oils, vinegars, anything the has an expiration date that passed (normally my fiance would argue that it was technically still good) I tossed it. I'm constantly rearranging the house to let the energy flow more naturally and meet whatever mood I might be in at the time. If we have furniture that is too bulky and just doesn't work, I throw it out or donate it, and I rearrange that room to make it work. It's all incredibly difficult to force myself to do because I do have the nagging voice saying "SOMEDAY you might need it" but, when or even IF that day comes, I know I'll figure it out.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing, JRoland!
DeleteI completely identify with your connection to your environment. I have been known to rearrange my room as often as every 6 months. It's nice to have a change and a new space to work in... I think subconsciously im always trying to create more open space.
I live in the suburbs of Detroit myself, a little further north from where I was raised, and I agree with your "if you have something nice, you won't have it for long" in some of the neighborhoods.
It sounds like you've found a good balance for yourself though, and that's good.
Thanks for stopping by! 🖤